Couples therapist and plus-size dating coach Krista Niles joins us to discuss statistics and misconceptions about body size and romantic relationships, how to navigate dating after being in a relationship with someone who says cruel things about your body, great strategies for creating a dating profile, what to do if you’re struggling to find a therapist, and so much more! Plus, Christy answers a listener question about how to cope when you’re surrounded by people who buy in to diet culture. 

Krista Niles, couples therapist and dating coach, created the Curvy Cupid Course in 2016 to help women of all sizes start writing their love stories. Krista is a strong believer in the transformative power of love, and experienced firsthand the stuckness, discouragement, and hopelessness that can accompany dating as a plus-size woman. Through the Curvy Cupid Course, she teaches a step-by-step intentional approach to dating that encourages perseverance and nurtures confidence skills -- even within a deeply flawed system of fatphobia and poorly-designed dating apps. Find her online at CurvyCupidCourse.com.

We Discuss:

• Why food was viewed as dangerous in Krista’s family

• How food deprivation creates a sense of “addiction” to food, even though food itself is not addictive

• How Krista discovered the anti-diet approach to food and body

• How Christy was misdiagnosed with PCOS

• Krista’s experience with a rapid change in weight coincidentally after starting to make peace with food, and how it affected her relationship with her body

• Krista’s diagnosis of PCOS

• How insulin resistance affects hunger and movement

• Why the goal of intuitive eating is never weight loss

• The trauma of dieting

• The importance of changing who you follow on social media 

• The isolation that Krista felt being fat-positive without having a sense of community support

• The challenges of dating while living in a larger body

• How Krista’s experience as a therapist and personal experiences shaped the way she created her Curvy Cupid Course

• Size acceptance in the queer dating community

• Statistics and misconceptions about body size, dating, and marriage

• The surprising percentage of straight men who don’t care about body size

• How fatphobia affects dating, especially for fat women

• How your mindset influences the way you date

• How to navigate the dating world after being in a relationship with someone who says cruel things about your body

• What to do if you’re struggling to find a therapist

• Body-positive tips for creating a dating profile

Resources Mentioned

Some of the links below are affiliate links. Affiliates or not, we only recommend products and services that align with our values.

• Submit your questions for a chance to have them answered on the podcast!

• My online course, Intuitive Eating Fundamentals

• Help spread the anti-diet message by subscribing to the podcast

• Overcoming Overeating: How to Break the Diet/Binge Cycle and Live a Healthier, More Satisfying Life by Jane R. Hirschmann and Carol Munter (CW: some weight numbers) 

• When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies: Freeing Yourself from Food and Weight Obsession by Jane R. Hirschmann

• Julie Duffy Dillon’s Food Psych interview about PCOS 

• The Adipositivity Project

• Virgie Tovar’s Food Psych interview

• Jes Baker’s work and most recent Food Psych interview

• Sonya Renee Taylor’s work and Food Psych interview

• Krista’s Curvy Cupid Course 

• BMI does not correlate with marriage rates

• Research about straight men reporting that they would date a plus size woman (CW: This study may contain the use of o-words, specific numbers, and possibly other fatphobic language and images)

• Krista’s free Plus-size Dating Starter Course

• Krista’s website and Facebook page

Listener Question of the Week

What are some strategies for coping when you are surrounded by people who are immersed in diet culture? Who are your anti-diet supporters? How can you call out diet culture in those moments? How can you connect with the anti-diet community online? What can you do after being around people who trigger you? How can you respond to diet-y comments with a different perspective? How can you set boundaries around discussing triggering topics related to food, body, and movement?

Resources Mentioned:

• Kylie Mitchell’s Food Psych interview

• My online course, Intuitive Eating Fundamentals